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Yael respler biography

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Photo Credit: Jewish Press

Dear Dr. Yael,

A number of years ago, my friend’s son was born prematurely and the bris was postponed. I inquired of my rabbi how to both congratulate my friend on his new baby boy but also how to be there for him as his son faced medical issue after medical issue. The rav gave sound advice which I was able to channel toward my friend (whose son was able to have a bris soon thereafter). The rav then faced the same tekufah with his own son; perhaps the advice the rav gave helped in his situation. Anyway, to my ‘problem.’ I have another friend, different situation: this friend is amazing – he will move mountains for those in need. I am blessed with whatever Hashem feels I need and I have endeavored to assist this friend with his admirable causes when I could. However, (and this friend, heart of gold and all, is quite jovial), makes me feel downtrodden with the almost constant ‘ask.’ You gave last time; we need for this event. We are relying on you… and your friends. I feel like I’m in a twister of his w

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Photo Credit: Jewish Press

Dear Dr. Yael,

I wanted to share some points on a course that I took on assertiveness training. I struggle with being assertive and this course really helped me.

  1. An assertive person does not lie.
  2. An assertive person does not retrace history.
  3. An assertive person knows how to accept a compliment.
  4. An assertive person knows how to accept a gift.
  5. An assertive person uses failure as a means of learning. He or she replays a failure to see what would have made it a success.
  6. An assertive person achieves independence through creative risk taking which allows him to give up dependent and manipulative behavior.
  7. The more assertive we are, the less angry we feel.
  8. The more assertive we are, the less judgmental we are.
  9. When we are assertive, we care for others, and we need less from them.
  10. An assertive person ends poor relationships as soon as possible.

These are some points that I learnt in my assertive training program. Please share these points with your readers and respond to these ideas.

M.M.

 

Dear M.M.,

I appreciate your sharing som

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Although it’s a herculean task to find strength and maintain perspective in the aftermath of a shattered marriage, parents are in a position where they can’t afford not to. “You have to rise to the occasion because your child needs you to be there for them,” says Dr. Respler.

When parents get too wrapped up in their own emotions, it strains the parent-child relationship at a time when the grown child needs it the most. As Mrs. Goldbaum stresses, “if a child is struggling, moving into the pit with them won’t help.”

She likens it to someone at an airport who assists an elderly woman by removing her luggage from the baggage carousel. “You’d help her lift the bag, but you’d never dream of taking it home with you,” she says.

So, too, with emotional baggage. You can listen to your child and hold their problem for a moment, you can even cry with them. But after, you must hand their baggage back to them. “You can’t take it home with you,” says Mrs. Goldbaum. “If you own their problem, it’ll weigh you down. And what your child really needs is for you to be emotionally avail

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